what a year this will be!

We are expecting! 

It has been extremely hard to go on such a long hiatus from writing, but it was with good reason!   I am happy to announce that Baby Bun is due this December!

Everyone is elated for us, and it honestly does not feel real.  

The IVF worked on the first try.  Our doctors instructed us to try very hard to avoid home pregnancy tests because they could be false positives or negatives.  It had been about 16 days since our treatment and I had woken up with a headache that would last the entire day.  I am never one to have a headache, so after dinner, we decided it was time to go against our doctors and take a test.  I think we were both a little afraid to watch for the results, but the second we saw that second line, Ryan was in tears.  He told me that he just wanted to see it so badly, that when it was there he couldn't believe it!  I was already dying to tell someone.  Ryan caved and let me tell my sister minutes after we found out ourselves.  

After we got the happy news, we realized that our dog had been acting unusual for the last week or so.  They say that dogs know you're pregnant before you do, but this was just crazy.  The several days before Lenny would not leave my side.  In fact, a lot of couch time was spent with him draped over my mid-section - trying to keep baby warm? 

Now, I don't know what kind of intuition our friend had, but shortly after we found out, Ryan got a text.  "I had a dream last night that you were expecting..." COME ON! What is THAT?! Crazy I tell ya...

The next morning, we took another test, just to be sure.  Man oh man, those lines were DEFINITE.  How am I possibly going to keep this a secret from everyone at work?  It was surprisingly easy.  One more day and our teeny tiny bundle of joy was confirmed by the doctor.  We're pregnant!!!  We. Are. Pregnant.  I don't think that has sunk in yet.

We did what every normal couple does the day they find out that they are expecting - we got every book  we could find at the discount book store!  

Just hours after finding out!

Waiting the several weeks to tell our parents was unbearable.  I wanted to shout it from a mountain top.  It wasn't long before I found the perfect crafting idea to tell everyone individually.

Everyone got a personalized mug, even if they were already grandparents or aunt/uncles.  I didn't care.  Ryan and I got to work on these and a few days later we hand delivered them to see everyone's reaction in person.  I could cry right now just thinking about all the reactions, so for now, just trust me that it went over well.

While our mortgage is still being worked on, my dad and Jody decided the wait is over.  

On a Friday at 6pm, we got a call.  "let's move this weekend.  How about Sunday?"  WHAT!?!?!

I was just told by my doctor to not lift anything more than 20 pounds, how am I possibly going to sit idly by while other people move my things?  I am such a hands-on, controlling person... but, you'd be surprised how easy it was to hold the dog on a leash directing traffic while everyone just moved everything for me.  I probably wouldn't have been that much of a help anyway, but it was kind of nice not having to do much at all.  

By Sunday at 4pm, the house swap was complete.   I don't know two crazier people, but we decided that our motivation for unpacking was going to be hosting 2 parties the following weekend.  But, we did it!  Completely unpacked within a week, hosted those parties, and ready to start nesting already!

We told our friends Memorial Day weekend with a shirt that no one got.  

Red, White, & Blue... or Pink

It didn't even matter, once I blurted it out, everyone was so excited, and so were we! Last week we told our jobs, and last night we told the world on facebook.  

Starting to feel a little more real now... :)

a dry run

For the last ten days or so, we have been staying at my dad's house to dog sit while they went on vacation.  This is the house that we are buying, so we spent this time figuring out the best commutes and thinking about our new delivery restaurants.  The first few nights, Ryan and I thought about decoration ideas, window treatments, paint colors, and furniture options.  We started a list of what we would want to do with the house and tried to estimate the costs.  Luckily, the majority of what we want to do is paint :)  As the days went on, we got more creative.  There is an iPad app that allows you to take pictures of your rooms and change the paint colors.  I think I did this for 3 hours one night after work.  We were settled on a few color families and could not wait to get over to the hardware store to look at swatches.

We had a pretty nice little Saturday.  Walked around Lowes for a couple hours, looking at patio furniture, fans,  lights, paints, just all in all house stuff.  I think we picked up about 75 little paint cards to take home, and when we got back we played a little game with them.

First, I tried the kitchen colors - the counter top has shades of light orange in it, and we thought it would look nice to try and pick that up in the paint.  I laid out all of the shade variations on the counter and immediately had a favorite, but I didn't tell.  Next, the family room and dining room color - a soft gray/beige. Greige. With the natural light behind me, I held up the swatches again and I knew what I liked.  Finally, the master bedroom.  We've known for a long time that our room would be a lavender-type purple shade, we just needed to pick the perfect one.  I brought the color chips up with me and knew my favorite instantly.

Now is the fun part... seeing what colors Ryan likes compared to mine.  Now, I have always been a quick decision maker - bought the first wedding dress I tried on, picked the first venue we looked at, etc.  Maybe I just know what I like.  Ryan has always been a 'pick my top choices' kinda guy, lets just see what he picks.

Kitchen:  "I like this shade (different), but this one is really the best (my choice too!)"
Family Room: "I feel like we are grasping at straws here, they are all pretty much the same... wait, this one is too blue, this one is kind of green... I'm going to pick this one (samesies)"
Master Bedroom:  "Oh, this one is much easier.  This one (yup, you guessed it!)."

Obviously we are meant for each other, we have the same taste in paints! I wish we could fast forward a few weeks to get started on everything.  We want to paint, pack, move, FINALLY be settled with our own belongings again.  

All week we were picking out which cabinets would house our kitchen items.  What size couch we want to get, what we are going to put in all of the storage areas that are pretty much everywhere, thinking about how great it will be to have a garage for the first time!

Easter Sunday was fun! We had a mini egg hunt for my niece at my mom's house, Easter brunch and baskets there as well, and then just some relax time.  After Ryan and I left, we had plans to wander around Ikea for the afternoon to look for more ideas.  Some people will tell you that Ikea furniture is crap and it is such a pain to build themselves.  Those people are lazy!  Yes, Ikea does have some sub-par, wouldn't even bother in a dorm room furniture, but for slightly more money, they have some very good quality items (maybe I should work there!).  

First stop on the Ikea tour: Living room furniture.  Ugly. Ugly. Too small. Ugly. Too Big.  Perfect, but its probably not comfortable.  But it is comfortable, and its perfect.  L shape sectional, not too tall, great charcoal gray color... hmm.  We wrote down the information for this lovely couch, along with an arm chair, some barstools for our breakfast bar, a chaise lounger for our possible reading room, a couple of area rugs, and a few other odds and ends.  

This is like torture.  In the chant of the 7th grade cheerleader of my former self: 

Let's Go! Let's Go! L-E-T-S-G-O!

it's really happening!

5:30am on Saturday - we wake up to the splashing sounds of a sick dog vomiting on the floor.  Ryan cleans it up and startles me awake a few minutes later - THE BASEMENT IS FLOODED WAKE UP! Great. We have to be out the door in like 20 minutes and there is 5 inches of water in the basement.  After a quick survey, we call my dad. No answer.  We didn't have a plan... ok, call again.  Nothing like waking your dad up with news like this on a Saturday morning!  They would be over soon to figure things out.  

After we get back from the quick appointment, we had about 5 hours of clean up ahead of us.  We were on a roll.  Wet cardboard? get rid of it!  This was the perfect excuse for us to to the major cleanup that the basement needed.  We got as much of the dry items up high, and peeled away at the wet stuff.  There wasn't really much damage.  We were able to catch everything before that happened.  It was only noon by the time we finished - not bad!

Dad and Jody headed out to the yard for some gardening prep, so we joined them.  Quite possibly the most productive day we've had in months!

So, its been over a week and we are still going to be buying my dad's house.  I am waiting for something to screw this up, but we got our purchase agreement yesterday, so we're hopeful :)   There really isn't much left standing in our way.  Too many hours on pinterest have made me consider and reconsider countless paint swatches and style ideas.  Luckily, we don't really have to decide anything like that immediately.  

Two days ago, I had my egg retrieval.  I'm in a constant pain and bloated state and I can't wait for this to be over. The doctors have given me instruction to keep it off my mind.  The next few weeks are going to be an emotional roller coaster and I need to keep myself busy.  The good news is, they would like me to retain water by eating salty snacks and drinking Gatorade and V8.  The bad news is the bloating.  I am also very tired from this procedure - I have considered napping in my car during work on more than one occasion. For now though, we are done talking about that.  When I have news to share, I will share it. 

April Fools!

I know you are sitting on the edge of your seat in anticipation... WHAT HAPPENED WITH THAT HOUSE?!?!

Sunday morning, we got a call from the agent who wrote up our offer.  There were 2 minor questions and she said that we should expect a signed contract tonight! GET OUT! (Seinfeld reference) So, what you're saying is, after a mere 24 hours after we saw the house for the first time, we were under contract?  That's exactly what I'm saying.  Finally.  Something was going smoothly.  We hoped to get back in the house Sunday to take some measurements and get a floor plan going, but we had to wait until Monday after work.  No biggie.  We spent Sunday doing exactly what we were told... Dropped off the earnest money, scheduled a home inspection, jumped for joy! With the help of a group text message, word about our new adventure was spreading quickly!  There was nothing else we could do but wait, so we did knowing that it was going to be a short one this time.

Monday started my first day of daily doctor appointments.    In an effort to not allow these appointments interfere with my daily routine, I decided that the 6:30am appointments would be best.  This basically means that I need to be out of the house before I would normally wake up.  Needs coffee..... oh wait, never mind.  Before I even get to work on Monday, I get a text from 2 co-workers.  They are calling in sick today.  I get into work and my boss emailed - I have to cover BOTH of their responsibilities as well as my own.  This whole idea of being calm for the next couple of weeks is really starting to be a joke.  

I got a call from my doctor's office and my body is responding extremely well to the injections and, so far, things look like they will be going according to schedule.  Super Duper! Even though I had done more work in the first 6 hours of the day than I had for the entire previous week, that was exactly the news I wanted to hear.  I needed to fly through the remainder of the work so that I can fantasize about our new home and look up decor ideas and color palettes.  I fell in love with a vintage scheme at about 4:25pm and I knew I wouldn't be able to last the remaining 5 minutes of my work day, so I was off.

Ryan and I were meeting my dad, Jody and the agent at the new house so I took the route that would be my new commute.  5 minutes closer.  I got there in a flash, and Ryan was waiting.  We were early, so we started walking around to plan our yard.  Not even 3 minutes later, my dad and Jody pulled up and I could instantly tell that something was up.  Boy, was I right....

My dad realized that after some careful consideration, this house is going to be a lot of work.  We will always be working on it, because we don't have the $100,000 that it would take to fix everything at once.  The initial "must-do" items were already going to leave us short changed.  It didn't take long before I was holding back tears and we didn't even get into the house yet.  Am I upset about this house or that its another bump in the road?  My money is on the bump.  

It became increasingly hard for me to listen.  All I could hear is that this house was a piece of crap, and I just wanted to get back in the car and go home.  It wouldn't be a serious conversation with my dad without a "but..." and this one was no exception.  My dad and Jody talked and they wanted to give us the option to buy their house.  We talked figures and then it was time to go into the house we were all standing in front of.  Measure, measure, measure, downstairs, upstairs... hmmm... this house has kinda lost its luster.  More measuring... this is going to be a lot of work.  A few more minutes of chatting and we are all in our own cars again.  Ryan and I talked the entire 20 minute car ride from the new house to Papa's house.  The Pros of Dad's house immensely outweighed the Pros of the new house.  We knew every secret Dad's house has.  Plus, any work that was done on the house was done the right way and professionally.  Not to mention, the kitchen is bigger than most people's living rooms!

We didn't need much convincing.  We had already lived in this house, twice.  From the beginning of our search we said how cool it would be to be able to buy that house, but never could figure out a way to do it.  We all met in the Family Room of Papa's house to figure things out.  Can we even get out of our current contract without losing our money?  After about an hour of back and forth we were alone with our thoughts and thoroughly confused.  Lots to think about and not much time to make the decision.  Our first call was to our Mortgage guy.  8:00pm and he answered on the second ring.  This guy is awesome.  We explained the situation and he said he would try and figure out a way and get back to us tonight.  Second call was to our actual realtor who is still on vacation.  Explained again and he said that we have 5 days from Sunday to get out without question.  Not even 5 minutes later our Mortgage guy called back.  It can be done.  

Dad: Hello?! We JUST left there!
Me:  We're in.

11 things I am really getting sick of hearing

"Just relax."

So, it's my fault, huh?  Relax?! Why didn't I think of that??? You are obviously a fertility genius.  All I have to do is relax... And all this time I thought my doctor knew what he was talking about. You are the 1,000th person to ever say this to me, and I hate it just as much.

"Don't give up, it will happen."

Do you know how painful this one is? I don't think you do.  You telling me that it will happen is just a reminder that there is a significant chance that it won't.  Thanks for that.  You're a peach.

"Isn't that really expensive?"

Yes, it is. While we are on the topic of money, how much was your car? What do you pay in rent? How much do you make?  A little too invasive? Oh, sorry.  Unless you are offering a donation, I really don't want to discuss my finances with you.

"Are you sure you want kids?"

No, I'm not sure.  Your kid is acting out you turn to me to ask that asinine comment? I've been going through all of this even though I might not be sure.  Trust me, I know all the bad that comes with the good of a baby. 

"I know someone who went through this..."

You are trying to make me feel better by pointing out someone else's pain.  This is not helpful at all.  I don't care that your hair dresser's neighbor went through 6 rounds of IVF before it worked.  Now all I can think about is multiple rounds of IVF, jerk.

"You could just adopt"

Just adopt? Oh yes, I will go down to the baby store and pick out a kid tomorrow after work.  Do you think we haven't thought of this? Why would you think that this is a better choice than having my own biological child?  Don't bring it up again.

"How many are you going to put back up there?"

Why do you care so much? First of all, this isn't even up to me. Do you think I am going to put 10 embryos in there? Get a clue.

"Are you going to be like Octomom?"

Yes.  That is exactly who I am striving to be.  Obviously you get me, lets keep this conversation going.

"You're thinking about it too much"

I am sure that my ovaries can hear my thoughts and are plotting against me. What would you like me to think about instead?  Oh, your friend got a surprise pregnancy because they weren't thinking about it? Please, tell me more...

"So, is this going to be a test-tube baby?"

You ignorant slut.  Why don't you do yourself a favor and google it.  I don't even have words.

"I hope there isn't a mix up at the lab"

You don't think I am already worried about that? I have read the horror stories about IVF mix ups.  Great.  Now I am panicking about having an Asian baby... not that there's anything wrong with that.

now is the time...

"Now is the time to be kind to yourself both physically and mentally.  Don't start any new major projects at work or home."  This is a direct quote from my IVF instructional packet.  So, what do I do?  I get assigned a major project at work that is going to force me to work from home during nights and weekends for the next couple of weeks.  I guess this isn't the end of the world, how often are we sitting around on a computer anyway?

Friday, March 28th is probably one of the most stressful and busiest days at work that I've had since starting there.  At about 3:00 I get a call from Ryan.  A new house showed up on our MLS access.  It dropped in price by about $20,000 just minutes before, and we had to be the first one to see it.  Of course, our realtor is on vacation for the next week.  If there's a will there's a way.  We know that he arranged for other agents in his office to assist him, so we call around.  Finally, we get an agent to agree to show us this house, but not until the next morning at 8am.  That worked for us.  Now we just have to hope we are the first people to get in to see it.  Nothing else we can do but go and celebrate my brother's 35th birthday.

Before we head to my brother's house, we needed to do our second round of injections.  We were not nearly as nervous and we cut our time down by 50%.  Hardly a disruption anymore.  

The next morning, I was up by 5:15.  I had a dream that we overslept and completely miss out on this house.  My dad said he would come with us, so that if we liked it, we would be able to move forward right away.  We met at his house for a quick breakfast then we were off.  The house is just over a mile away from my dad's house.  

We pull up, and Ryan and I love it.  I hope the inside isn't going to be too much work or in ridiculously bad shape.  This house is bigger than any other we had seen.  It's a little different though, because the previous owners separated the main level and the upstairs.  The upstairs is set up as an apartment over the main house, but is it a big deal to convert it back?  According to my dad, no.  After about 20 minutes of us inspecting the house, and thinking about what work should be done, we say bye to the agent who did us a favor and we walk around the property.  If we put a fence up here... if we open the back porch... if, if, if.  

Back at my dad's house, we pull up the listing online and were talking and talking about potentials.  After about 15 minutes of excitement, we decide were gonna get our offer in asap.  Ryan calls our actual agent and he calls on the second ring while on vacation.  He knew we would be interested and told us that he would get our offer paperwork ready, as we pre-signed everything before he left, but there was a chance we would have to run over to his office to meet a different agent in case there was anything we missed.  Another waiting game...

2 hours of nervously waiting and planning later, we call back to make sure that the offer went in without any issues.  Good thing we did, because not only had it not gone in yet, our agent was having computer issues and couldn't get anything to work.  He gave Ryan the number to another agent who actually lives in our new prospective neighborhood.  She said she is out with other people but wanted to meet us in about 2 hours. Omg, were gonna lose it. 

Time to go.  We needed to not be sitting and waiting anymore.   Errands, lunch, a short nap... its been 2 hours.  Ryan gets his phone and its time to call her back.  As Ryan is holding his phone, our new temporary agent is calling him first.  Her showings ran late, she needs another hour, but she is so hopeful and excited for us.  

We get to the office to meet her and I am already feeling annoyed.  She didn't have anything prepared?  We all sat together and things instantly turned for the better.  Not only was she friendly and nice, she was confident in this situation and really seemed like she had a lot of experience with the listing agent.  So much so that she called the listing agent!  "Hi Carol, busy today? No? So you didn't get any offers on 704 Center St yet? No? Oh, this will be the first one? ok!" Ryan squeezed my hand and we were practically drunk with excitement.  This isn't our first time, so she handed us the paperwork to sign and initial and within 45 min we were walking out to wait again.  She told us that we might hear this weekend!

tick, tock, tick, tock....

8:00pm text - "still haven't heard back"

you were very brave

Tonight is the night we start our injections.   It has been on my mind for the entire day.  I think I am going to try and give them to myself because a self inflicted would will hurt less... right?  Come on 4:30... I had to get home.  We agreed today would be a no gym day and after a couple stops, it was time.

My doctor's office is super cool and savvy and they have an iPad app.  The app has so many instructional videos of how to measure and administer the shots.  I'm so nervous.  Ok let's do this.  The first shot is similar to an epi pen.  We spend at least 5 minutes prepping this one when my phone rings.  It's my sister - she can wait.  Ok focus... wipe off the area. Phone rings again...

             Ryan: Hey, can Allison call you back? We're doing shots.
             Amanda: Wait, do you know what side of the mall has Stir Crazy?

             Ryan: I don't know, she will have to call you back... we are right in the middle of shots

             (silence)

             Ryan: ok I'm hanging up now... bye.

Enough distractions.  It's go time.  We've prepped the area, pinch... I can't do it.  What a baby.  Reliable Ryan steps in and immediately takes control of this nerve wracking situation.  Boom.  I felt practically nothing.  Easy peasy - let's do two.  The other is a little more complicated.  We have to mix the powdered medicine with saline solution in a multi-step, more intricate process. 

"I'll do the prep, but you supervise me. Then you do the shot."  Ryan was fine with this arrangement and in about 5 seconds the next shot was done.  I can totally handle this.  Plus the reason I am doing this is going to make it totally worth it.  After a quick clean up, we were done.  10 minutes top and we are rookies.  By the end of the weekend we will be pros. We walked out of the bathroom and Ryan rubbed my back and said "you were very brave" and I actually agree with him.  This is a lot to take in.  My body is about to go through some incredible changes and I just have to sit back and wait for the side effects. 

By the way, I checked my phone and Amanda texted me.  "OOOHHHH Shottttts" She thought it was a little odd that we were hanging out at home, throwing back a few vodka shots on a Thursday night.  Funny how three and a half years can really change your mindset when outside of Ryan and me, she was the only one who knew what we were doing. 

This deserves a cheat dinner.

Sorry Brad!